Met a gal a few days ago at outram MRT station. She came up to me while i was sending sms.. we spoke.. she ask me abt mobile phone issues.. "Miss, any idea what should i do if my handphone is lost" ? .. I look at her.. she seem lost.. i told her to report to police.. ask whether she had terminate her line & where she had lost the phone.. She said "I accidentally place drop the phone in my friends bag & happen that the bag was somehow past to my friend's friend. But i manage to get the SIM card back. I've called starhub to suspend the line & hv told police but i dont thk they will care". The train came.. i boarded & she also boarded. She stands beside & close to me.. ask me another question "Can you help me, call my mobile as i want to see whether anybody answer the call". The minute i heard this, i found that something seems to be wrong with this gal. Imagine.. How possible could the phone number be working if she mention that she had call to suspend the line & moreover the SIM card is with her ??? It took me a while & i shaked my head & replied "sorry". She looks down & added "How long does it take to reach Bt Batok" ? I answer her & she looks a bit sad after rejected by me of lending my phone to call her number again.
Another few minutes past.. she spoke again.. "Thks for helping me & answering my query". She smiled.. Thats because she mention that she had ask alot of ppl around but no one wish to talk to her or answer her. I understand, cos to others.. she might be abit kind of "Abnormal" in reaction.. I saw a "cross" chain around her neck.. She might be christian. The next minute went to my mind is "GOD BLESS HER"... While i'm reaching my station, she said goodbye to me with a smile.
After alighting, i give a thought. Why did she react in this manner ? Too stress ? Tired ? Her personality ? Depress ? The most possiblity to me on her is Depressed. She really look like one. I find that i can see kind of image of myself in her.
Be it work, family or other issues.. I've always put the priorities on the importance.. I've always set a very high standard to what i'm doing.. Is it good ? or is it bad ? I dont know. Too much yes & no in my mind.. ending crying most of the nights.. feeling so down & painful .. feeling tired, feeling myself collapsing soon.. Dragging myself to work at times too.. When nobody does things, i'll bring myself up to complete.. Too initiate ? I can't accomodate with others ? or I'm not suitable of this position ? Standard too high ? Pushing too hard ? Forcing too much ? I really dont know.. alot of question marks on my mind.. How to help.. nobody but myself... I just hope that i dont end up like her. I think its time for me to take a break. A short one at least.. Changing of new environment might be a good help ? I dont know.. just try.. Maybe find out the real reason whether its due to the environment ? the people ? or is it my own personal problem. Hope this works well.. Its sad to leave but when its time, its time..
